4 Ways To Nurture Your Child’s Entrepreneurial Spirit

Jim Aberman is founder and CEO of Jim Aberman Marketing Company and the father of Rich Aberman, entrepreneur and founder of WePay.

You can read about young entrepreneurs starting new companies or raising millions of dollars in venture capital on a daily basis. For parents who dream about their kids becoming entrepreneurs, these articles reinforce the stereotype of ambitious dropouts and instant dot-com millionaires. While the promise of fame and fortune is alluring, the question remains, “Can a parent raise a child to be an entrepreneur, and why would they even want to?”

I think the answer is no. By definition, the path to becoming a “professional” is more structured than the path to becoming an “entrepreneur.” If you want to become a doctor, for example, you get into a good college, do well in school, ace your MCAT and write a great application. If you want to become an investment banker, you work hard in college, attain a great internship and ace your interview. Since there are no structured paths to becoming an entrepreneur, it’s hard to set your child on the right path. I believe, however, that there are qualities and characteristics that you can instill in your child over the course of his or her youth that will help prepare him or her for the risky, emotionally draining, economically irrational and statistically doomed decision to become an Internet entrepreneur.

My son, Rich Aberman, was recently listed as one of Businessweek’s Best Young Tech Entrepreneurs Under 30. When he told me three years ago that he was going to drop out of law school to found an online payments business — WePay — I thought he was joking. And, at first, I was very against the decision. However, I believe that I prepared Rich for the challenges he has faced by nurturing and guiding him so he could reach his full potential. I think some children are born with the natural desire to venture off the beaten path and to build things from scratch, but it is up to the parents to nurture and reinforce those tendencies, while simultaneously providing the parental guidance that all children need.

The following are a few guidelines that worked for me.

1. Let Her Discover Her Passions

Parents often have their child’s day scheduled down to the minute with classes, sports and other activities. It’s important to give kids the opportunity and responsibility to choose what they want to do and explore their passions. When Rich was growing up, he was on the debate team and the math team. When he told me he was quitting the debate team to focus on math, I was upset. I thought he was doing a great job managing both, and I wanted him to stay well-rounded. In retrospect, I realize that passionate focus was a key element in the success of his entrepreneurial endeavors.

2. Challenge Him

As parents, we have the responsibility to challenge our kids to reach their full potential. When Rich first entered high school, I set up meetings with the principal and the head guidance counselor to introduce him to the valedictorians and leading students in each class to help mentor him. It was probably pretty awkward for him, and I’m sure I came off looking like that crazy over-involved parent. But I wanted to make it clear to him that he had a responsibility to be an over-achiever, since we both knew he was capable of it.

3. Lead by Example

I started and ran my own business and thought it was very important that Rich see what it was like firsthand. I took him on business trips with me and introduced him to other successful entrepreneurs who shared their own experiences with him. But I never shielded him from the challenges and anxiety that come along with starting from scratch and building something new. In fact, it’s one of the reasons I originally wanted him to become a “professional” rather than an entrepreneur.

4. Don’t Rule by Fear

I was never punitive. Sure, point out what is wrong but encourage positive achievements. Entrepreneurs need to believe they can do anything, and obviously, they cannot be risk averse — that’s what lawyers and accountants are for.

Great entrepeneurs are not born out of a desire to make money or to be famous. They simply can’t imagine doing anything else. Building something new is the only thing that can make them happy. As parents, it’s up to us to be realistic about the challenges of entrepreneurship, allow our children to follow their passions and adequately prepare them for living up to their full potential.